There Will Be Sand: Florida 2012

Day 1

We took a taxi from Will's MD apt at 8am on the 10th to the Greenbelt metro. Took metro to DCA. Arrived 3.5 hrs early for our flight. Oops.

We shared a Cinnabon (#1) (as good--better!--than they say) and yogurt before security. Jet Blue. Nice flight. Arrived in Tampa ~2pm and went to Skipper's Smokehouse where we had excellent beers, crawdads, oysters, and W had a grouper sandwich (#1).

We intended to go out for dinner later but decided we were too exhausted. W took a nap, I ordered room service linguine and a salad, which we shared. We watched the olympics, we watched the bridge change color outside our balcony. A sweet night together.

Day 2

Pastries at Tampa bakery (guava for W, cheese danish for me, cinnamon roll (#2) to share later), found a CVS for supplies. Drove Bay Short Blvd to see big houses.

Stopped at Outlet mall on the way to Sanibel for sandals for W. Also got a good deal on linen pants. Check in to Marriott Ft. Myers in mid-PM, after stopping for rum, limes, sandwich.

At hotel, sunbathed topless on private patio then went to Sanibel to restaurant/appetizer-hop: Mojitos & shrimp sausage quesadilla at Doc Ford's, conch fritter's at RC Otter's, Rum Runner, Margarita, BBQ bacon shrimp at Green Flash (including men's bathroom w/ creepy 2-way mirror into bar). Waited at Timber's for short time and decided it wasn't worth it--returned to hotel for Starz delivery pizza and rum drinks.

Somewhere in between we illegally parked and watched the sunset (only to be chased off by giant mosquitos for probably work for the illegal parking dept).

Tried canoeing at Ding Darling Refuge but weather didn't comply. Instead went for walk down nature trail and got stuck in multiple downpours. We hid under palm trees w/ tiny crabs and lizards. Saw beautiful birds--white cranes, pelicans, blue heron.

Lunch at Doc Ford's (fish sandwich, cubano), reading (and nap) time at the causeway in the car (through rainstorms and drizzly afternoon). Then walked at lighthouse and returned to Doc Ford's for dinner: amazing yucatan shrimp, quinoa salad, banana-leaf-wrapped grouper tamale. Key lime pie.

The next day, we got to Ding Darling by 9 (after Publix stop for mufffins, bandaids [Amber's cheap boat shoes], and bananas), took canoe to boat trail. Saw birds (one pooped on us), crabs, lots of mangroves, tourists unsteady in kayaks, and--the crowing glory--3 manatees. The manatees appeared after the end of the trail, paddling briefly in open water. We watched them from afar, followed at a distance, until we briefly lost them and they resurfaced right next to our canoe, regarding us curiously. Then went about their way.

After canoeing, we went to the beach for a short time but were too hot (and slightly burnt) to stay for long. Amber swam--water felt fantastic.

Went to Mucky Duck on Captiva for 2 of the best hours so far. Beers, water, shrimp, beers, water. A dog, beautiful view, thunder rumbling, sun sun sun (sunscreen), and relaxing at a picnic table in the sand. Bought 2 pint glasses.

Left Sanibel, went to outlets nearby so W could get shorts. Hot. Burnt. Returned to hotel to change. Took hotel trolly--a rickety cable car--to "main tower" of resort where manager at cabana bar doted on us. ("Did you want food from ____? We'll bring it over!") Transitioned to restaurant where he was our water-server. Clever minx. Dinner: grouper sandwich (#2), crab cake sandwich. Mojitos, beer.

Got up early the next morning and checked out (later heartbroken to realize we left the rum) and went to Heavenly Biscuit in Ft. Myers for breakfast (Cinnamon roll (#3), huge biscuits with bacon, egg, cheese, tomato. Amazeballs.

Amber decided we should be in the olympics for recreational sightseeing: canoe division.

Headed toward Everglades. Amber got Chaco sandals at Snyderman's Shoes (really great stop--nice people, sale shoes) and W got new insoles.

Drove around in Naples, walked a little. Not overly impressed. Hot. Burnt. Blisters. So many blisters. Began w/ cheap "water" shoes (Target brand tennis shoes), continues w/ unbroken-in Chacos).

The Rod and Gun Club in Everglades City was classy, creepy, dark, and surly. Taxidermied animals all over the insides, dark dark wood and no lights except through open doors and windows. I commented that Teddy Roosevelt would've loved it. W said our waitress probably was TR. Well put.

Everglades City seems like a great last post before setting off on a canoe adventure. Not much else. That said, Rod+Gun had phenomenal screened in porch where we had margaritas from surly waitress and watched sun go down.

Before Rod+Gun, stopped at restaurant/outfitter on north end of EC. Had conch fritters, grouper sandwich (#3), and fried shrimp. Watched airboats go by, pelican somehow not bothered by their jet engines.

After drinks at Rod+Gun we walked south along canal--lovely views, interesteing town (gutted in 1983 for huge marijuana bust--took half the population). Mosquitos off canal walk were numerous and hungry. Blisters.

Drove up state road recommended for gator viewing and saw many. Screamed like a little girl 1st few times. Watched brave duck paddle through gator water.

Huge thunderstorm at bedtime.

[part 1 of 2]

February Showers Brings May Buying A House

Well. You can say we're wishy-washy, you can say we're vague... but, when we realize we really want to do something, you cannot say that we hesitate.  But let me rewind a bit... 

The end of the holidays was so hard. But we (I, anyway) had no idea what was coming. When you got back to SF, to find housing (as I for-realsies finished up a resume and found some jobs I was interested in), the friends you were staying with (a couple) broke up. There had been breezes to this effect but when it finally happened it happened FAST. And, with that, your living situation got reeeeeeally uncomfortable. 

We were adjusting to this reality: finding short-term or perhaps longer-term housing for you, attempting damage control with your relationships with the couple-formerly-known-as-roommates... but when things fell into place, they fell like concrete and stayed. In 1, 2, 3...

1) You mentioned to a boss that things were strained, that you were considering heading east. 

2) He asked if you'd be interested in a transfer to a new office opening in the east [something we did not even know existed before this time]. 

3) You were on the east coast--and working--within 15 days. 

Wyoming has an excellent network
of highway webcams. 

January 5 to January 20. I am looking at the calendar and those are exactly the dates. 

You worked another 10 days in SF after that, closing things up. They gave you 2.5 days off, and $500, to make the drive to Virginia. (...........) I met you in Laurel, MD, and we stayed the weekend in a Holiday Inn Express and a Red Roof Inn BWI (where you stayed for another week afterwards). You drove through at least one snowstorm, and I (as your navigator) steered you straight into it. It was apparently pretty scary--and that must be true for you to have admitted it, professional driver that you are. (I still feel pretty bad about not noticing it before it was almost too late!)

We were in the remnants of the winter storm when you arrived to MD. It was cold in VA and DC but frigid in MD. It was so good to be together but that weekend felt inexplicably dark. I still can't quite explain that. But it was cold, and we didn't know what was going to happen. 

"Happy Birthday,
motherfuckers."
(He really said that!)

The refrigerator dressed up as your car on a lark.

But being on the same coasts, boy. When compared with 3,000 miles, 3 hours is not as daunting of a problem. 

You stayed in the Red Roof Inn for a while. You stayed with Lenore and Edwin for a while. Lenore and I made you a Very Complicated Cake and Very Involved Pastas for your 30th birthday. Finally, in the first week of February, we found you an apartment--the cheapest we had seen (but still more $$ than our C'ville apartment): A one-room efficiency in Greenbelt, MD: America's Coolest Planned Community That Was Innovative In The New Deal And Still Kind've Works (tm). 

That's new home satisfaction!

It's an oversimplification, but that more or less brings us to now. 

This guy also had a weird spring.
He looks hungover.

You come to Charlottesville most weekends. I go up to our "city home" occasionally. 

We decided a few weeks ago (.... yes) to start looking more concertedly at houses in C'ville: somewhere to put some effort into, some time, and make a good investment (for now, for 5 years, for 10 years, who knows). Within a week, we found one we were very interested in. (Actually I was pretty ambivalent about it until you pointed out the great condition everything was in... under the bright pink and mint paint and old lady curtains.) And when we saw the fully-grown fig tree in the yard my heart nearly lept out of my chest for joy. 

The house is currently under contract. 

We are waiting for final mortgage approval and, while I have every reason to believe things are fine, I will feel much, much better about things once we've officially gotten the once-and-for-all approval. (It terrifies me that we might not, even though I can't think of a single good reason why we wouldn't.) 

Distance is still hard. You still live in MD during the week. I spoke with you 15 minutes tonight and 10 minutes yesterday... nights just aren't your thing. Weekends have been, mostly, great. But I will be so happy when this phase passes, in one part, then another: 

May 30: house closing (I know, I know, then the real work and all that)

Sept 21: Your 1yr anniversary with SC, when you could leave if you wanted to and still retain the benefits you wanted to keep. 

So. Eventful 5 months of 2012. 

Posed to be an eventful 5 more... though hopefully in wholly different ways. 

I am tired. I am anxious. I feel lucky to have what we have and do what we're doing... and nervous that it might all go away. 

Come on, June. I've got tomato babies to plant.

Twenty Twelve

Getting ready for guests...

I keep meaning to keep a factual record of what our life is like right now, but I keep getting overwhelmed by the complexity of it all and telling myself I'll do it later.

I waited for you at Cinnabon Air.

But hey, let's talk Christmas. You flew in to Dulles around 9pm on December 23, and we stayed in a lovely hotel in Bethesda that night. We watched the Spongebob christmas episode and ordered a pizza. When I asked you later, you said this night was among your favorites of the whole trip.

The next day, we took off for Norristown and the christmastravaganza held at Dot's house. We stopped for Starbucks' holiday caffeinated beverages. When we arrived to Dot's, we chatted a bit but were quickly put to work: chopping, washing, setting the table. About 30 people squeezed into her house, which (I'm told) is pretty standard. My memory is foggy, but about 95% of the guests were between the ages of 6 and 12. Pretty sure. Santa showed up and--I must admit--it was much less creepy and much more magical than I ever expected. Your grandfather seemed to enjoy himself and, at times, but wholly cognizant of what was happening and when and where we were. I'm not sure where your expectations laid--but this beat mine, and that's always nice.

This is how you hand-made a
page-a-day calendar...

Christmas day, you made a large breakfast for Dot, your dad, me, and you, and then we went on a walk with your Dad in the Audubon park near Norristown. We saw deer (ah hem, mating), rare owls, canadian geese, beautiful ice patterns on wet forest floors. It was chilly, but bright.

We left in the early afternoon to return to Virginia. Driving down i95 on christmas day was nicely uneventful. We had greasy fried chicken from an interstate service area. People seem happy, somehow, despite the fact that they're at a rest stop on 95 on christmas day.

Santa's finished!

Arriving at our apartment around 7, you saw the christmas tree and (minimal) decorations for the first time. We spent a little time straightening up and then settled into the couch--like it ain't no thang--for a little Netflix and cuddling. We exchanged gifts (a page-a-day joke calendar for you, a RoadID running bracelet for me) and watched the first few scenes of Apocalypse Now. This, when you asked me, was one of my favorite evenings.

Somebody rejected their very-
special (bedpan-like) bowl gift by
leaving it in our microwave. 

On the 26th, my family descended upon our house. I had stocked us with the basics (ham, coffees, xmas cookies, fruits, bread), but you did some morning-of shopping to get ingredients for cocktails, hot cider, flowers. The keen details. Sadly, we took zero pictures. But you, I, Lenore, Edwin, Mom, Dad, Maggie, Daisy, and (briefly) your dad had a great time. Mom and Dad (predictably, though I hope differently every year) brought a huge stack of gifts. Lenore and Edwin did too. There were lots of souvenirs from Hawaii (m+d), and Paris (L+E). We travel all the time and I never buy souvenirs--lesson for next year. Lots of chocolate, coffee, edibles.

Christmas on 95...

We had brunch with your mom the next day (eggs, ham biscuits), and you two spent the afternoon together shopping. (I took a much-needed nap.) We finished Apocalypse Now.

Wednesday, we went to the DMV to renew your license and then took the truck to WV to check on your land. As usual, it feels more open in winter: fewer grasses, more flatness. Not cold enough any ice or snow yet, though there was a biting wind. We brought ham sandwiches, ate them in the car, headed home. We met your mom and John at Stone Soup in Waynesboro on the way home. We had cornish hens (apricot habenero glaze) and mashed roots for dinner.

Thursday you retrieved the trailer from Waynesboro (after much effort) and we had dinner with Sean and Hillary and two of their friends. I think we were stretched a little thin... wishing for down-time... but wanting to pack as much goodness as possible into these few days, so the dinner was lovely. Homemade indian food--incredible. We brought vanilla ice cream, candied figs, and thyme honey (which i neglected to strain so was quite chewy). Played a round or two of Apples to Apples.

New Year's on 81... 

Friday, we returned the truck and trailer to Palmyra. Got Bodo's sandwiches for breakfast and lunch, packed, mashed potatoes, picked up the rental car for our new years' trip to the Poconos. We had to trade the car on our way north because the alignment was clearly off on this one--WOMPWOMPWOMPWOMP--but the Civic we ended up with was fine enough.

Last lunch of 2011. 

Poconos, despite being packed to the gills with twelve 20-somethings, was fairly calm. We dove right in upon arrival, having volunteered to make dinner that night: beef tenderloin for 12. It was a hit: "best meal of 2011." I am quite proud of us, I think it went exactly as well as it could have gone. We made mashed potatoes, asparagus, horseradish sauce, and gravy. We spent the evening chatting around the table with the group, went to bed before the others (around 11).

The next day we got up first (or... second? some sneaky soul had made coffee) and stood on the deck outside, drinking coffee and talking about life. I didn't think to mention it to you, but this might be my 2nd favorite time of the visit. We talked about movies, life, plans, fears, goals.

Last meal of 2011.

New Year's eve was chaotic--the person who volunteered to make dinner was not, um, equipped, to cook for 12, and it was an all-hands-on-deck situation. You swung to the rescue with 2 grilled chickens (in addition to 2 roasted). The meal was wonderful, and such a relief once it was done. By the time things were underway, I think we were all having a nice time: you with the guys and the grill, attempting to identify constellations, me making drinks for and attempting to caramelize onions even though the cook clearly had no idea what that meant.

My seat assignment.
Note jello shot beneath.

Jello shots, also.

We were all quite collected through midnight, then an all-out dance party broke out around 12:13. (You said, "it took 13 minutes for this to get weird!") We both danced, went to bed around 2. The mix of alcohols was... eventful. But we both survived.

Yesterday, the drive home. We left around noon (if I am to be honest, deeply saddened brunch still wasn't ready), you weren't feeling well. You slept in the backseat for a while, I think you had a slight fever. Overall, though, a nice drive... lovely light in the morning, grey grey rain in the afternoon. It suited our moods. Series of bridges in Harrisburg, PA were stunningly beautiful.

Took you to Dulles around 4:30, stayed for half an hour and caffeinated myself while holding your hand. After I left you texted me that it was "so hard to get on this plane." I wonder which of our sentiments... "nothing rewarding is hard" or "this is so hard, i just want to stop" is correct. We both express both.

At some point you gave me a 10-12% chance of actually ending up in SF... a figure I found jarring since it feels like a real 50/50 to me (or, more accurately, a 70/30... then 30/70... then 70/30... etc.). I realized I needed to be more openly optimistic. My thought of you as the more resolute one was incorrect.

After dropping you off, I went to Lenore's and fed the cats. They were confused and angered and hungry and cuddly and sharp to see me. I have no idea how they felt about it. I got home around 9:30, exhausted. Sad. The house feels empty but.. sadly... normal.

I felt so close to you over this visit. We've tried on a number of realities. I think we both know which one will happen most naturally. Now we fight for the harder--more rewarding--one until it's not worth it or until it happens.

We can't win everything in this situation. But we can't lose everything. And I am so, so, so in love with you, partner. I am a lucky woman to have you, and our families, and our friends. It's a good life. It will be a good life. 2012 will hold changes, that is perhaps the only guarantee.

Today you're finding housing.
Today I'm drafting job applications.